This is a blog about comics, books, movies and politics that will be updated whenever I damn well feel like it. My writing website is here. Visit it. Or not.

Saturday, March 11, 2006

Ultraviolet Review

So, I just finished seeing Ultraviolet, the new action flick starring Milla Jovavitch. I was in the theater with four 11-year-old boys for my middle son's birthday, so that could be coloring my thoughts on the movie, but, boy did this thing suck.

Don't get me wrong, it was beautifully filmed and it had a European look, with obviously computer-generated long shots and some close ups on Jovavitch that looked like they were filmed through a layer of gauze, but the plot was about as thick as the gauze covering the camera lens. That is to say, not at all thick.

Other than the nod to comic books in the opening scenes (in which we see Jovavitch's character, Violet, in a variety of comic book covers to give the impression she's been around forever), we also see a comic connection in the wafer-thin plot. Vampires, called here hemophages, are accidentally created while the US military is trying to make Captain America. Okay, they don't say Captain America, but they're looking to make a super soldier. What they make are scientific pseudo-vampires.

The plot. . . well, you know what? Screw it. There really wasn't a plot. Suffice to say that the vampires were on the verge of extinction because of those mean humans. Of course, the fact that the vampires only had one woman among them so couldn't propogate their own race other than by spreading around their blood doesn't really speak all that well to their intelligence.

Or mine. Hell, even the boys thought it was a bit of a loss. Nice figh


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